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Writing to Get the Hurt Out – Who Knew?

Writing to Get the Hurt Out – Who Knew?

I Wrote to Heal My Heart

A few years ago, I got this itching to write words. Not for songs. Not for any particular reason…. As it turned out, I was writing to get the hurt out. Who knew?

When my mom died, I felt like an orphan. That’s because my dad had passed away nine years before her. I knew what to expect in the grieving process because I’d done it before. But it didn’t make it easier. Not at all…. except that I knew healing would eventually come. But when? and it’s not like you become an expert at grieving. It’s just something we must do to keep on going.

So several years after Mom’s death, I decided to write words. No idea what kind… I figured I’d just sit and write.

Words and Emotions Poured Out

Words started flowing out of me – sometimes faster than I could type. It was an amazingly-almost-weird experience. Because it was an almost out-of-body one.  Feelings began to flow in the form of words. Not just any words, but poems.  Although I’ve written lyrics for hundreds of songs, I’d not written poetry since my growing up years. But that’s how much of the words came out. Isn’t that strange?

As they did, I felt a familiar healing begin. This was a surprise, because I thought I’d already done the healing. Yet hurting stuff was sitting dormant inside my soul, just waiting for the chance to be expressed.

And so the words came and came and came. With them, returned memories that made me smile, laugh, weep, and shake my head in amazement at what a formidably wonderful woman I had for a mom. I wrote poems to capture all the feelings and tears and heartbreak and tender tutoring that reminded me – for sure- I’d see mom again.

I Will See My Mom Again

Life is full of beautiful, hard, amazing lessons. Gifts come in interesting ways. The gift given me was getting the hurt out of those nooks and crannies of the soul, where they were hiding. Just as it had begun – a tremendous need to WRITE – the desire came to an end. I was done. I guess the hurt had all come out. Phew… What a neat, and different, and precious way the Lord tended me when I didn’t even know I needed tending.

I figured I’d share one of those poems with you today. In case you have cause to mourn for a loved one who has gone on, maybe it will help you in your healing. Or, maybe it will give you pause to think of someone you love – so you can let them know it while they’re here to hear and enjoy those words from you. Maybe….


“I’m sorry…”

there are other words

but I, in my hurt,

hear nothing more.


I only know

you’ve moved beyond

Earth’s mortal door,

and entered

where I cannot go

until our Father says so.


I weep

because your body



While we are apart

a certain portion of my heart

is sleeping, too.


But not to stay-

God made a way-

I know it to be true.


Gone for now…

But then…

I will see you


[Vickey Pahnke Taylor,  published 2007]

The words might seem sterile to you. But if you think of someone you love very much, and how you can no longer – for a time – see them, maybe you can sense the loving, longing for, and loss. And conviction of eventual reunion,  of joy, and of gratitude for an Eternal Plan that includes the blessing of togetherness.

Writing simple words became my way of healing in a – well- very personal way.

Peace and Healing

Today, I needed to share. For whoever it is, I hope it helps you in some way.  Even a little bit. I don’t know who you are, But He does. And He wants you to get any unnecessary hurt out of those nooks and crannies, and feel His peace.  xoxoxo


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  1. Vickey,
    I loved your message. I could feel what you felt as you wrote. You blessed my life, again! and…I thank you for it.

    What a tender mercy it is for us to be able to heal from things. I’m grateful that writing helped you – because your experiences and words have helped me! Thank you for sharing from your heart. You have blessed me deeply.

    Love you!

    • So kind of you, Heidi. I love words. Even though they can’t communicate as purely as I’d like, it’s good therapy/ peace-giving/ fun to use them to ‘talk’ with friends in this kind of spot… and to just be ‘real.’ Thank you.

  2. Vickey,

    If more understood the power of writing and the healing that can happen as a result. Writing not only works for grieving the loss of a loved one as you have shared, but for anything that wounds our souls. Many years ago I started writing while I was working through a clinical depression and it is amazing how the Lord worked through that process. Like you, I also wrote poetry, which I had never done before. Sometimes while writing I was angry at God, and I found my writing turned into a prayer, and He touched me. During those moments I felt hope, love, and healing. Many times, I would go back and re-read previous journal entries and feel the power of healing all over again.

    Thank you for sharing this wonderful truth about writing to get the hurt out.

    • Stan, yes! It does work for any hurt inside our heart or soul, doesn’t it?! Thank you so much for sharing how you were healed and helped. And the double blessing is that, once written down, we can re-visit those words for perspective and more quiet happiness. Thank you!

  3. Losing someone we love so dearly has to be one of life’s most challenging trials. I was 29 when I lost my husband Billy….I was 58 when I lost my dear, sweet mother. There is a hole in your heart that holds a space that no other can fill. “Time heals all wounds” they say…..I don’t know. Maybe. Thank you for writing this. I hope your heart is feeling less wounded~

    • Thanks, Debbie. I’m doing just fine these days… writing really was an amazing, healing experience. I still miss Mom and Dad… will until we’re reunited. But, ‘all is well.’ xoxo


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