The Year of Being Brave
This year I’m trying to be brave. I have long ago stopped participating in the New Year Resolutions. I just try to figure relevant ways to improve myself as a person, and make better inner peace with myself. To take baby steps toward being better. To let go of something that has held me at bay- concerns, worry, this or that New Idea (actually we get new versions of the same ideas, over and over again.)
This year, I am trying to shake off the surgeries, hospitalizations, and months of being ‘in my home’ and away from the outside light. Eye problems- when they get severe- can cause nasty issues with the light that I so love. Thus, my blinds stay closed and in the bedroom? Don’t laugh. There is nothing better to cover our half moon window that those commercial size and strength black bags. No sunlight gets in. Zip. Zero. I have been able to take refuge there, and find comfort when the sunlight – my old friend- is shining.
This year, I am trying to BE BRAVE.
My bravery quest has to do specifically with my eyesight- or lack thereof- at this point. There are a few specifics I hope to accomplish in my effort to Be Brave:
- Go through the catalogs, for Pete’s sake! Order some of those things that are helpful. In class, they gave us little rubber round things to stick on the dishwasher, the microwave, etc so that I can know exactly what to push to make things work. Trust me- it comes in very handy! Therefore, I want to order some more of those handy-dandy items that will make my life easier now and as I go through this journey.
- Attend the classes offered at the Eye Center for those losing sight. Besides that one intro class my hubby took me to a few months ago. The one where they were so nice and kind; gave us two thick catalogs of helpful things to order; a fat file full of papers to read (Which I found a bit amusing, since the sight-losing among us in class have trouble reading); and positive words to carry on. It was – okay. But we never looked through the paperwork, glanced at the catalogs, and … there ya go. They’re beginning weekly classes. Whenever I can get someone to take me, I’m going. It may sound silly, but it takes a certain bravery that I’ve been trying to develop.
- Do stuff even if it bothers the eyes. I went to my first movie in seven months on Saturday. It was worth using my eyes for this show called Collateral Beauty. It made me decide to stop cowering from this eye stuff, and stand up. It’s not something to be fought- like a cancer. Because the nerves simply die, and with it goes the sight. But I can look HARD and DEEPLY. I can study people and things and places more intently than I ever have.
- We’re buying lots of hats. I call them Floppy Hats. They have wide brims that allow me to pull the brim over my eyes and shield from the sun. You should see me with my floppy hat and my sunglasses. Sometimes, TWO pair at the same time, over the glasses. Haha. What a sight. (Get the joke there?!)
We’re gonna get a grundle of hats. Me- who never could stand to wear a hat, and who has always felt myself to look foolish in one: I am embracing the HAT thing.
- I’m keeping my sense of humor and my faith that I may have a miracle. So there.
NO ONE can take those from me. I can give them up, but they cannot be taken. So I will not surrender them, under any circumstances. They serve me too well, and bless my life. With the eye thing, there are lots of jokes. I embrace them and believe that those around me are no longer uncomfortable with this disease affecting the eyes.
- I’m keeping my sense of perspective.
It could always be so much worse. SO much worse. I have, in fact, lived through harder things than this before. And come out on the other side wiser and with more understanding- and I hope grace- than when i went in. So I’ll try and try and try some more. I’ll appreciate all I have. I’ll be grateful for the sight I still have. I’ll remain thankful for my wonderful doctor, and my supportive family and friends. I will keep my faithful hope that there may yet be found something to help. And as a precaution….
- I will begin to learn Braille. My son in law suggested this one. It’s a great idea. Not one that sounds fun or easy. But wise and will offer a good measure of preparation if it’s needed.So – there you have it. This is my year to Be Brave. Wish me luck and say a prayer for me, if you think of it. If there are things going on in your life, let me know what your plan is to be brave, or grateful, or faith-filled, or Whatever. And I will wish you luck and say a loving prayer for you. Those kinds of things help all of us be a little bit more brave. They bring goodness to our lives.
And Goodness matters!